Hello you beautiful readers,
So my last two posts have been rather negative so I thought I’d do a positive post about myself and how I’ve learnt to accept myself just how I am over the years. It’s been a rollercoaster of emotions and a long process but I feel like I’m pretty much there!
First thing I’ve come to terms with is that nobody is perfect. Everyone has rolls, stretch marks, cellulite, scars, hair in places where hair “should not be” etc etc. Beauty is purely subjective. Someone could think I’m a beautiful masterpiece. However, the next could think I’m related to Jabba the hut. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I know that someone one day will find you and myself as the most beautiful individual in the entire world. And until that day, if someone calls you something negative. It doesn’t matter. Someone will sweep you off your feet and make you feel amazing.
Secondly, I am always going to be a little bit fat. But i’ve accepted that.
My mum blessed me with her short and dumpy gene. But, she’s so cute. I’ve been plump and short my entire life, and although I’ve had a lot of fat comments shouted at me through school and at work my patients still tell me how large my arse is – now, I don’t really care.
I’m not saying that it doesn’t bother me at all. I know I’m a better person than that by not making a comment about someones weight (unless it’s positive) and that’s something more than skin deep. I manage to shrug the comment off in about 2 minutes and get on with my day. Plus, I know that my girls would pounce on anyone who would make any weight comments about me anyway.
For anyone who thinks they’re a little bit more voluptuous than they’d like to be – work it. Work your insecurities into the ground and focus on the parts that you don’t mind about yourself. For example, I am blessed with rather large boobs (although my back hurts most of the time and I get those dreaded red marks around my shoulders, I hope my fellow big boobed people understand this struggle when wearing a nice bra!) and a rather tiny waist. Therefore, I flaunt those more than something like my legs. My legs are my biggest insecurities about my body. I’ve always had large thighs and had to deal with the dreaded chub rub in the summer. Therefore, I’ll naturally edge more towards longer skirts and dresses and not towards crop tops. Although, I struggled with not having tiny legs and a thigh gap years ago, through the increase in body positivity and through fitness gurus, having thick thighs isn’t an issue anymore. Even if you do think your thighs are too big for something short, if you want to wear it – fucking wear it. Slay those haters into the ground and work it.
As Willam and Latrice Royale say – thick thighs make the dick rise!
Please listen to this song, my best friend Bee introduced me to it and I play it everytime I feel a little insecure.
Link here — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOF5fM6puKw
Another thing that has helped me become more confident in myself is the people I surround myself with. Some of my old friends I use to feel embarrassed about reaching for a size 16 dress or top in the shops. But my current friends tell me to slay the world in whatever I’m wearing. Don’t get me wrong, they wouldn’t let me go out in something extremely unflattering or something that didn’t excentuate the bits that I feel more confident in. But, they always manage to make me feel good about myself while shopping. This I feel is extremely important when wanting to feel more body positive. Tell your friends or family member if they make you feel unconfident in yourself. If they care about you, they’ll understand and change there ways. If they don’t – fuck them. Your happiness should be the most important thing to you.
When I went to the audiologist and they told me I had hearing loss I was gutted. Although, I sucked it up and got a hearing aid. For the first few months I was so self-conscious about it. But now, I don’t care about it. My mum has hearing loss too from countless infections over the years. She once said to me “if my 23 year old can wear a hearing aid and not feel embarrassed, then so can I!” and I went with her to her fitting and since then – her life has improved. I also no longer have to shout at her, which has saved me a lot of sore throats! But knowing my mum plucked up to the courage to get herself a hearing aid after me made me SO happy. She put it off for years and I gave her the confidence to get one. She says all the time she wouldn’t have done it without me.
I remember spending so many years looking at photos of toned women and toned girls by the pool when I was younger – I’d immediately get sad and cover myself up. I spent far too many years being embarrassed of my size and how I looked and I don’t want to spend any more time feeling embarrassed about who I am. Nobody should feel or be made to feel ashamed or upset about there looks. People come in different shapes and sizes and we should encourage each other to love ourselves and accept ourselves exactly the way we are.
Although I’m still a little chubba now, going to the gym has not only improved my fitness but really helped the way I feel about myself too. Doing heavy squats and lifting heavy weights above my head makes me feel empowered and strong. Exercise makes you produce endorphins like serotonin – the chemical in your brain that makes you feel good. So when you exercise, you view yourself better. It doesn’t have to be going to the gym. It could be swimming, walking, cycling. Absolutely anything. The way you feel about yourself is very important. If you feel better about yourself, it’ll show on the outside too.
It’s not also the outside what’s been important to help me accept myself, it’s also how I feel about myself on the inside too. Beauty is only 10% of what someone is actually like in my opinion. Being a nice person is so much important than what you look like. If you’re a good human with good intentions to other people, regardless of what you look like, you to me are a beautiful human. I don’t think that I’m a perfect individual but I know I’m not a bad person and that’s more important to me than what size jeans I’m buying. If someone thinks I’m fat or ugly or geeky. I couldn’t care less. I know I’m a better person then that and that’s more important to me.
I hope you enjoy this post and thank you for spending the time to read my thoughts.
Lots of love,